The Problem
by Natsudori Lina
Summary: Usagi believes that Chiba Mamoru has a problem. And she has decided that someone will just have to fix that.


_Okay, well for details on what's going on with Haru, you'll have to see my lj. I have a bit of insomnia tonight, so I wrote this short little one-shot to fit theme #94- Fan Club on Usakomamoru. Hope you enjoy it and, as always, please review?_

_**The Problem**_

_**A one-shot**_

_**By Natsudori Lina**_

"Baka-san," Usagi announced loudly upon entrance into the Arcade. "You have a problem." She practically skipped over to him, gleeful with the realization. "A really _big_ problem."

Mamoru, seated at his usual place at the counter, idly flipped a page unperturbed. "And what's that, Odango?"

"It's a terrible situation to be in," she continued happily, almost oblivious to the question. "And you chose it too! It's quite obvious that there are some larger psychological issues involved here," she proclaimed, peering at him.

He slowly tore his gaze from the page, suddenly of the queasy sinking feeling in his stomach. A malicious glimmer shone in Usagi's eyes as a testament to the accuracy of his instincts and he felt a muted sort of panic set in. "Odango," he said fearfully, eyes locking with hers, "what are you up to?"

"I thought it was obvious." Usagi began to raise her voice, letting it carry throughout the Crown. "You," she stood on a stool and thrust a triumphant finger into the air, "are a lonely person."

He had a _very_ bad feeling that he knew where this was going.

"In fact," she said (she _bellowed_, Mamoru corrected himself with some horror) "you're _single,_ aren't you _Chiba Mamoru?"_

An eerie silence settled over the Crown as Usagi moved on heedlessly. She slammed a foot down onto the counter with a solid _whump._ "That's _it_, Baka-san, that's it!"

He wouldn't ask, he wouldn't ask, he wouldn't ask, he wouldn't—he would. It was killing him. He had to ask. "What's it?" he asked cautiously.

The mischievous gleam lit back into Usagi's eye with a vengeance as she inhaled deeply presumably in preparation for something. "You," she whispered into the silence, "need a _girlfriend_."

Had Mamoru not been frozen to the spot, had he had full possession of his inner cognitive workings, he may have reflected that the silence had been the calm before the storm. As it was however, he heard only a dull rushing sound that crescendoed slowly to a roar of screams.

Even Usagi seemed to realized what she done, the gleam leaving her eye as the silverware on the counter began to clatter with the thunder of the approaching feet. She let out a small 'eep' as the stool beneath her began to wobble and she fell to the ground, a mute Mamoru absently steadying her with one hand gripping her arm and the other on the small of her back.

The door opened as woman after woman entered, eyes eagerly seeking out Chiba Mamoru, the finest male specimen in Juuban. Grumbles traveled throughout the room as they found what they sought and began to shake their heads. One woman stood on a table and made a quick swiping motion with her hand.

"It's a no go, girls. Maybe we'll have a shot in a few years."

One by one the exited the Arcade. Somewhere during this exchange, Usagi's hand had fisted in the fabric of Mamoru's sleeve. He turned to her slowly with a wicked half-smile.

"You know Usagi," he drawled, threading one of her pigtails through his fingers. "You're single, aren't you?"

She nodded silently, eyes wide.

"Do you find that to be a very big problem?" he asked, eyes wide with feigned innocence.

Usagi hesitated before, nodding again slowly.

His lips tilted into a wide grin as he tipped his head toward her ear. "Well then, you're in luck," he breathed. "Because Umino just walked in."

Usagi jerked out of her trancelike state with and stared at Mamoru with dismay.

He collected his books and exited the Arcade with a casual flip of his hand. "Ja, Odango."

She stood there for a moment, hesitating, before seeming to come to some sort of resolution. She tore out of the Arcade, shouting.

"Wait, Baka-s-- _Mamoru-san_, I need your help! I have a problem! A big problem, _huge!"_


End file.
